I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
