Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
