meet me or not, i'm out of control
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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