don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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