Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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