i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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