I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
