youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
