My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
