Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
