So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
