omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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