Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
