Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
