Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
