my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
