I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
