Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
