i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
