is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
