i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
