so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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