he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
