Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
