it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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