you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
