dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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