super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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