either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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