4 words: hood of his car
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
