after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize