Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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