I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
