Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
