I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
