I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
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