You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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