you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
