capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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