You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
you made out with another girl for some wings
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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