Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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