i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
