I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
