and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
