i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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