my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
