you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
