Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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