fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize