She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
