covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
