I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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