oh god the rape fog is back!
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
