actually, I'm a sock model
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
