you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
