i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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