I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
