Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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