Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize