drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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