if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
