yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i love accidental penises.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize