I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
